When a guy approaches a woman in a bar, the first line that proceeds from his mouth often determines his success – or lack thereof. With online dating, that crucial first step is the introductory email.
An email is almost always the first point of contact with online dating. A woman will check out the guy’s profile next, provided she has not already blown him off. With this in mind, that first email had better be pretty damn good.
After years of dating, I’ve learned that women really analyze the messages they receive – IF they choose to read the email. If their inbox is overloaded, or they are pressed for time, or they are bored to tears from reading lame messages, they will summarily commence a mass deletion of files. The man whose message stands out will greatly increase his chances of securing the date. Here are a few tips to insure your message makes its way to the top of the queue:
1. Attach a photo to your message. This will place an image of you, the writer, in her mind as she is reading your email. Don’t be lazy with this photo – no standing shirtless in the bathroom as you take a pic in the mirror with your cell phone. Show some style.
2. An email consisting of, “Hey babe ur hot wanna hang?” is not going to work. Eminem might pull that off but not you, so exorcise the temptation to make yourself look stupid. Women want you to demonstrate the ability to communicate appropriately.
3. Always, strive to be interesting. Let her know through your words you have ample charm and wit. The cardinal sin of the introductory email is to bore the recipient. It is a dating death sentence.
4. Refer to something written in her profile. Sure, it may suggest shared common interests but far more importantly, it proves you have actually taken the time to read about the things she wants you to know. She may be shocked.
5. Correct spelling, grammar and usage errors. The difference between their, there and they’re may seem trivial and irrelevant to you; however, if it is important to her, she will notice and conclude you are too stupid to tell the difference.
6. Let her know you want to meet her for a drink (coffee, wine, shots!) and stimulating conversation. This tells her you really desire to meet, you want to get to know her and if there’s no connection, it’s only a drink so it’s easy to get away.
7. Suggest a suitable location so she can see right away that you have the confidence to arrange dating logistics with competence. Some guys can’t do that and women love being with a guy who can.
I always say practice, practice, practice – because eventually you will get very good at what you are practicing. Guaranteed. So it is with writing emails. Take your time and try to include these ideas in your messages. Success may just be the next email away.
